I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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