Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
