Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
