He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
