U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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