This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
