Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
