It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also, beer. Big fan.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
