I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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