So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She announced her abortion via fbk
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
