So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
