I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
