I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
