I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
