Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
