Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
