names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
not ubering you a puppy
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
