dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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