how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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