3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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