Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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