But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
