They have a pepper shaker for pot.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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