OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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