she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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