i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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