omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
