I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
