omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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