i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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