Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
