if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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