Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
