He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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