We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
