bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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