The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
