OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
