After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
