We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
