Please, let me fuck your mom
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
