I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
