oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
