Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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