He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
