Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have demons in me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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