We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
