The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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