dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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