She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
