I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
