32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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