I wanna passion pit in your ass
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
